“Won’t you cross over? We are all waiting for your lead, or is the ditch too big?” the Giraffe persuaded the Lion who was supposedly leading all the animals to the promise land, where there would be food and water.
The Lion remained silent and just stood motionless, looking ahead. Then the Giraffe moved forward grumbling out loud “Well if I or any other animal cross this ditch before you, that animal would become the next king of the Jungle at the promised Land”.
Everywhere went silent. They looked at each other and back at the Lion. He remained unmoving, seemingly deep in thought.
Then the giraffe swiftly crossed the tiny ditch and turning to the other animals to gloat, the ground shifted suddenly and the giraffe fell into a wider ditch beneath the earth.
The Lion then moved forward, lifted his eyes to the sky roaring “Lords of our Land, accept this Sacrifice and let the rain pour to end this dreadful famine”.
And then quietly to himself, “..And let the Grass eating animals eat and fatten up for I can scarcely find meat on their bones”.
Then turning to the other animals he said, “Let’s go back to our Land and wait for the rain, for I am neither Moses nor Pharaoh”.
It was 3:35pm. She greets the Security at the bank entrance and wait patiently for the two ladies who were before her to enter the banking hall. As she found herself in front of the door waiting for the light to turn green, this elderly man walks up to the door, greets the Security and places himself between her and the door.
“Good day Sir” She said. He didn’t respond but shifted slightly to the side. The light turned green and the security pressed the ‘open’ button and they waited for the door to open. She continued boring holes into his side that he looked up at her after a while.
And she gave him the “you really mean to say you didn’t notice me standing here” look.
The door opened and she waited for him to make the first move, he was blocking her path after all. She’d already shaped her mouth to tell him immediately he took the first step forward that it was her turn so he should come out and wait; and she was ready to cause a scene.
It was like he could read minds because he moved aside and waved for her to go in. And into the banking hall she went without a backwards glance.
Nigerians should learn not to jump queues especially older adults who feel they have more important things to do with their time unlike young people. If you are in a hurry, explain to the people who came before you nicely and most people would make way for you.
-So how old are you, Ma?
“It’s written in the folder”, she replied.
I looked down and saw 20 but the woman looked like she was in her thirties.
‘So Ma, you are twenty or is it twenty-one?”
“Nooo, is that what was written?” She asked “I am older than that oh”
Then there was silence, I looked at her waiting for an elaboration but she said nothing.
I turned back to the folder and saw I read it wrongly, it was written 20+. I turned back to her
“Oh madam, it’s actually twenty plus that was written”
“Of course, I am not twenty. There was a plus there” she responded
And then silence again even with all my power stares.
“But could you tell me the right twenty something it is?”
“How old am I???” She asked “I was born in ’86 so I should be 31 this year”.
In my mind, I yelled ‘Finally!!! Drum rolls, people!!! ‘
That wasn’t soo difficult, was it??’
God!! Why do women find it difficult to state their age? Even in a hospital??? What’s the biggie biko? What does a lady profit by hiding her age?? Or am I missing something important?
I don’t understand, maybe someone who does should kindly explain
“What do you mean?” I shouted at the top of my voice.
“How can you tell me that from that junction to this Junction is N70?”
I was still screaming as people gathered to know what was happening; the keke man just opened his mouth staring at me, and didn’t say anything, although he looked like the meanest thug you’ve ever seen. The people who gathered kept saying “Its OK ma, calm down ma”. I shouted once more, turned and went my lovely way, smiling triumphantly to myself.
You see, I just won the battle that would have turned against me. Our society knows how to make room and excuses for the trouble makers and stubborn headed (In pidgin: those wey no dey hear word). They make excuses for them like “Hmmm, don’t mind him that’s how he behaves; everyone knows him, just give him what he wants and go your way and he goes his way etc”.
So most times in this our society, be that trouble maker first, cause that mayhem you very well know someone else will do if you don’t.
You can apologize later, and guess what?? You are even loved more then, and more people will seek your attention 😎