The best way to lie…

I usually have some weird moments when I think weird thoughts that during my sane moments, I wonder “whatever started that train of thought?”

One of such thoughts is the biblical injunction that all liars are sinners.
Is it possible for an adult to be 100% truthful? How can all lies have the same sin rating? What of lies that are told to save a situation? What of lies that are  necessary?

Would one classify wilful omission as lying?
Sometimes I just wonder, covering for a colleague who probably was having a bad day (that is quite unusual for said person), is that also lying?

This doesn’t mean that one should go about spouting untruthful statements and become known as a serial liar.

But most times, one cannot help but admire the skills of smart serial liars: you know their words are probably lies but you feel a compulsion to give them a benefit of the doubt once more (or should I say the hundredth time???)

I think knowing how to lie effectively should be one of those skills everyone should learn, because you never know when it will come in handy☺

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Quotes that Gave me Pause

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I remember the day I saw this quote for the first time, it was hilarious but after bouts of laughter I gave it deeper thought and realised it was more of a ‘Who told you the grass on the other side is greener?”

Though we have the courage to raise our daughters more like our Sons,
We’ve rarely had the courage to raise our sons like our daughters.

                                        Gloria Steinem

This quote made me realise that we are doing a great disservice to our boys, we put them in huge societal binders without giving them room to find themselves because society might say they are too feminine or even God forbid ..gay

The last quote for the day,
Saw this quote on a day I was quite down and wondering the next step to take, it was like an angel was sent to minister to me personally.

I know you are Sad, so I won’t tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day. Stay alive, feed yourself, wear comfortable clothes and don’t give up on yourself just yet. It will get better. Until then, have a day.

                                              Anonymous

Have a day…..

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Image Credits: google.com

Auntie Trouble maker

“What do you mean?” I shouted at the top of my voice.
“How can you tell me that from that junction to this Junction is N70?”
I was still screaming as people gathered to know what was  happening; the keke man just opened his mouth staring at me, and didn’t say anything, although he looked like the meanest thug you’ve  ever seen. The people who gathered kept saying “Its OK ma, calm down ma”. I shouted once more, turned and went my lovely way, smiling triumphantly to myself.

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Photo credit: google

You see,  I just won the battle that would have turned against me. Our society knows how to make room and excuses for the trouble makers and stubborn headed (In pidgin: those wey no dey hear  word). They make excuses for them like “Hmmm, don’t mind him that’s how he behaves; everyone knows him, just give him what he wants and go your way and he goes his way etc”.

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Photo credit: facebook comments😊

So most times in this our society, be that trouble maker first, cause that mayhem you very well know someone else will do if you don’t.
You can apologize later, and guess what??  You are even loved more then, and more people will seek your attention 😎

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Image Credit: google

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Sincerely yours,
Hellen Keller😆😆

May the bridges I burn…….

Saw this quote on someone’s hoodie and really loved it….

May the bridges I burn light the way

I browsed it further and found the ‘quoter’ to be Dylan Mckay but in my head the quoter still remains Chanyeol’s Sweat hoodie😆😆😆😆😆 (Courtesy of Vêtements)

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If the quote doesn’t mean anything to you, don’t worry; at the right time, you will understand

Behind every Successful Woman….

I was at a wedding on Saturday and the M.C really gave some making sense jokes, but one stuck and has been disturbing me since…….

Behind every successful man is a woman;
And behind every successful woman is an exhausted man.

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Image Credit: google

It was funny really but you know the Igbos say: Na njakili na-ekwu ezigbo (In teasing, the truth is spoken albeit humorously).

And that goes to show where we are as a society, the values we place on female achievements. It explains why ladies usually earn lower incomes than men, why ladies rarely own big businesses.

Because at the end of the day, it is these little things that shape our thoughts, shape our activities and ultimately shape our lives.

And it is saddening, because I have seen many women with amazing ideas that are never pursued.

Mami-Iwota #StoriesFromMyParishPriest

I remember the priest’s story one sunday about a Little girl who was being scared by her friends. They told her that Mami-Iwota was going to deal with her. Regaling her with tales of Mami-Iwota’s horrible treatment of her enemies, they expected her to be scared and start cowering; instead the girl stood up tall and declared she wasn’t afraid of her.

Everyone was shocked, they then started mocking her thinking she didn’t understand the severity of the things Mami-Iwota could do to her,  but the girl replied “I am not afraid of her. Yes, I know she is dangerous but whatever she does to me, once I get hold of Iwota I will do three-fold and she would never mess with me again.”

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Image credit:google

For those who are confused, Mami-Iwota is a siren that lives in water.  But when you translate it literally from Igbo, it means Mother of Iwota. I had heard and used the word Mami-Iwota for 19 years of my life till that day and I never thought of it literally.

I learnt a big lesson that day:

1. There are so many perspectives to whatever it is you think you know already

2. Listen to as many views/opinions no matter how insignificant the speaker is to you, you never know

3. Everyone has something to give, it might seem unbelievable but it’s true

This post was inspired by Obisco’s obsession with Mami-wota. She even has a story series on okadabooks titled Mami-wota made my hair and the hilarious blog post Beyonce bu Mami-wota
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Ciao

Police is your Friend??? #LovelyPeculiaritiesofNigeria

I think this post should have been rightly titled ‘Nigerian Law Enforcement Agents and their abuse of power’. But i’m going to start with the police force. I believe everyone in Nigeria already knows that our Police Force is worse than a joke. The saying goes: ‘Police is your friend’ but in Nigeria i think the right saying should be: Police is your enemy. From delaying travellers for about an hour or more because the “greedy” driver packed enough luggage and refused to Roger; then they decide to conduct a search to be sure there are no contraband items.

The other day, i was in Owerri and we just passed the traffic light after government house and were stopped at a junction when we noticed a traffic policeman  dragging the steering wheel with the driver behind us. It was a minute scuffle that resulted in the car hitting us from behind. So the question was: Who was going to pay for the damage to our car?  The driver or the policeman who was alleging that the driver ran a red light? When the light was at 10 when we passed?  So how do we prove that the policeman was lying?

A friend of mine told me a story of the Nigerian Road Safety guys who were trying to stop a trailer driver who refused and in retaliation, they used a long metal pipe to knock off his side mirror.

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Image gotten from the web

I was amazed. For Christ’s sake, they the FRSC should know the importance of a side mirror especially in a long petrol tanker and they are the ones sending the truck into the highway without a mirror. Are they now putting the lives of road users at risk?

This petrol scarcity has been soo bad that it even brought out the barbaric nature of our beloved Nigerian Army. A friend of mine was at the NNPC filling station to buy fuel. He left his house at 3:30am to join the queue; then at about 11:30 am when he was about 15 cars from the gate, some Army men arrived to buy fuel. They moved straight to the front of the queue and that was when the wahala began. The driver just before the gate refused to give up his space even after threats were issued, then one of them went ahead to break the man’s arm…..

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Photo Credit: google

You read it right….His arm was broken

Sometimes i wonder what it would take to make our Law Enforcement agents law abiding citizens…. I don’t know if i’m the only who dreams of the day i can confidently go to the Police to report a crime i witnessed without the fear that the Police would lock me up and turn me into the criminal.

But if that happens, do you think this country would still feel like Nigeria?? you know the Naija sufferhead ways because me thinks it would remove the Naija making it ajeborized to Nigeria. ‘Winks’

Glossary (For the non Nigerians)

1. Roger: The verb to bribe
2. Wahala: The noun meaning big trouble
3. Ajeborize: The verb to be spoilt and rich. Gotten from the noun ‘ajebutter’ which means someone from the spoilt upperclass.

Abegi, share your law enforcement stories