She was soo beautiful, her skin fair and smooth and he assumed silky like Tonto Dikeh too.
Gosh!! She had a lovely profile.
He had heard and read of love at first sight but couldn’t believe it was happening to him, although he had never really seen her face which was always bent low as she sat on the bed with a pillow on her laps.
When would she lift her head to him so he could behold her face?? The completion of the beauty. Kai!!!
He had read that persistence is the Key to all things, so everytime he came into the Hotel room, he asked her, “What can I do for you my lady? How may I be of help? Do you want to talk to somebody? I am here for you”.
He kept repeating those words. He even took Ahmed and Missi’s Cleaning shifts just to make sure he was always the one to attend to her. And always her answer was, “Please if you are done, get out”.
But he kept asking and cleaning, counting the days to his next salary, maybe he could buy her a perfume or a teddy bear, or whatever his meager cleaner salary could afford.
Then on that faithful day, she answered lifitng her head, beautiful as he had always imagined and said..”Can you kill someone for me?” she asked, lifting a gun from under the pillow and handing it to him, “A shot right in the middle of the forehead would do…”.
Like a mute dog, he stood there almost eating the mopstick..
-So how old are you, Ma?
“It’s written in the folder”, she replied.
I looked down and saw 20 but the woman looked like she was in her thirties.
‘So Ma, you are twenty or is it twenty-one?”
“Nooo, is that what was written?” She asked “I am older than that oh”
Then there was silence, I looked at her waiting for an elaboration but she said nothing.
I turned back to the folder and saw I read it wrongly, it was written 20+. I turned back to her
“Oh madam, it’s actually twenty plus that was written”
“Of course, I am not twenty. There was a plus there” she responded
And then silence again even with all my power stares.
“But could you tell me the right twenty something it is?”
“How old am I???” She asked “I was born in ’86 so I should be 31 this year”.
In my mind, I yelled ‘Finally!!! Drum rolls, people!!! ‘
That wasn’t soo difficult, was it??’
God!! Why do women find it difficult to state their age? Even in a hospital??? What’s the biggie biko? What does a lady profit by hiding her age?? Or am I missing something important?
I don’t understand, maybe someone who does should kindly explain
“What do you mean?” I shouted at the top of my voice.
“How can you tell me that from that junction to this Junction is N70?”
I was still screaming as people gathered to know what was happening; the keke man just opened his mouth staring at me, and didn’t say anything, although he looked like the meanest thug you’ve ever seen. The people who gathered kept saying “Its OK ma, calm down ma”. I shouted once more, turned and went my lovely way, smiling triumphantly to myself.
You see, I just won the battle that would have turned against me. Our society knows how to make room and excuses for the trouble makers and stubborn headed (In pidgin: those wey no dey hear word). They make excuses for them like “Hmmm, don’t mind him that’s how he behaves; everyone knows him, just give him what he wants and go your way and he goes his way etc”.
So most times in this our society, be that trouble maker first, cause that mayhem you very well know someone else will do if you don’t.
You can apologize later, and guess what?? You are even loved more then, and more people will seek your attention 😎