Fulani Herdsmen? Abi na Fulani Assasins

The fulani herdsmen attacking innocent villagers in Nigeria is nothing new. The Agatu massacre has been reported over and over yet the Director of Defense Interview said in an interview that new killings were yet to be reported to them. Is this supposed to be a military joke? A whole local government area has been invaded while the Army and Police stand watch leaving the villagers as Refugees and the President is still investigating the matter? I’m taking this personal cos a friend had told me of his family’s escapade in the hands of these herdsmen.

Yesterday i just heard of these Fulani herdsmen invading  Uzo-uwani in Enugu state and the villagers fighting back as their wives and daughters were kidnapped but instead of the security forces protecting the villagers (the owners of the land), they were taken away and locked up while the invaders remain at large. Meanwhile the state Governor is still looking into the matter. What rubbish? The most annoying part of the whole story was that there was already a leaked rumour about the attack and a stakeholders meeting was called where the Fulani leaders assured the community of bringing their herdsmen under control, the state government was also informed of the pending attack yet no security measures were put in place.

So many villages from the North central to the southwest has been attacked yet the Federal government is yet to do anything about the matter. One should note that the excuse  the herdsmen give for attacking communities is that their cows were missing/stolen. Is that enough reason to go on a killing spree?  Other reasons include that some of them were also killed. How does one confirm the story? And how come they never go to report to the police? Are they now above the law?

Another fact from this whole saga is how in the pictures, the herdsmen are seen carrying guns. Please when were they given authorisation to carry guns? What is a herdsman doing with an AK-47 please? If you are welcomed into a foreign land why don’t you go back to wherever it is you came from? Is it by force to allow someone graze their cattle on one’s land?

And the joke of the century is that whenever there is a face-off between a community and these Fulani herdsmen, the politicians and Police always asks us the citizens not to turn a national issue into a tribal/ethnic one.


Excuse me?? Its already tribal and we are not the ones who made it so, the Fulani herdsmen did. How come they are yet to invade a Fulani village?(Or maybe i don’t understand how a Fulani village works but who cares?)

Will you also run from someone who attacks you in your own home? How can our Security Forces and politicians ask villagers not to fan the flames when they are already being attacked? Last time i checked, you have the right to self-defense. Our dearest President was quick to sympathize with the Paris attacks but he cannot see that what we have here is worse than that; as our government has, by its silence given a nod of approval to these Fulani herdsmen to continue with their Genocide.

Another aspect that annoys me is when our Defense friends (Police & Army) instead of rounding up these herdsmen and arresting them have the guts to tell Nigerians that they are speaking/negotiating with the owners of the cattle to call off their boys.

Image Credit:web

Even if its the President calling back our Army from peace keeping mission. I can’t over state my disappointment in this present adminstration in all these happenings. I wonder by the time we recover all the looted/stolen funds from past politicians/govt officials if na cattle, fulani herdsmen and boko haram members that will remain as citizens in our rural areas.

Just saying…..
I’m curious: If herdsmen were to occupy the land close to your house and you see them carrying all types of guns, would you or would you not presume that you would soon be a victim of an attack??

The Grass is definitely Greener on that Side #StoriesFromMyParishPriest

That fateful day, she just barely managed to enter the church before the Mass started. She took a seat by the window at the end of the pew overlooking the parking space, she was trying hard not to cry as she wondered why her husband was no longer attentive and loving; and that was when she saw them for the first time.

They drove in, parked and the husband hurriedly got down from the driver’s seat, rushed to the passenger’s side and held the door open while the wife stepped off elegantly. They wore matching lace outfits and the wife has this nice bead around her neck. They quickly entered the church and took their seats infront of her. When Mass was over, she lingered and watched them leaving; and the husband still held the door for the wife. She was flabbergasted; they were an elderly couple and she heard them greet friends as she had been following them closely, they definitely didn’t sound janded (someone who has travelled outside Nigeria) at all so how did this lady get soo lucky to have a gentleman husband??

Image from the web

And so her couple watching/stalking continued, and she was growing tired of her situation. So one day, she gathered up her courage to meet the lady, told her she had a problem she believed she could help her figure out the answer to and took her number. The next day she called her up and they scheduled a meeting.

When they met, she went on about her failure of her marriage and the hard headedness of her husband. She complimented the woman on how she and her spouse always arrived at church together unlike her husband who since he bought her that nonsense baby boy(the street name for Honda Accord 1997 model here) leaves before her to church as he insists she takes too much time dressing. So she asked the woman for the secret and the woman replied
“Hmmmm…..He bought you a car??šŸ˜® My husband started opening my door ever since I mistakenly broke his door handle and he warned me never to touch any part of his car again: I am to get in, put on my seat belt and keep my hands to myself, i’m not to to touch the radio knob or God Forbid!! (Dramatic eye roll here) try opening the door. You think it’s romantic to have the door opened for you?? Try sitting in the car under the hot sun with the windows wound up and your husband has forgotten he was yet to open your door ‘cos he got carried away with exchanging pleasantries with a friend and you have to call to him on phone to remind him that you are still in the car?

And that was the end of the sermon for that day……..

Image credit: web


The grass is definitely greener on the other side, wouldn’t you agree??

Police is your Friend??? #LovelyPeculiaritiesofNigeria

I think this post should have been rightly titled ‘Nigerian Law Enforcement Agents and their abuse of power’. But i’m going to start with the police force. I believe everyone in Nigeria already knows that our Police Force is worse than a joke. The saying goes: ‘Police is your friend’ but in Nigeria i think the right saying should be: Police is your enemy. From delaying travellers for about an hour or more because the “greedy” driver packed enough luggage and refused to Roger; then they decide to conduct a search to be sure there are no contraband items.

The other day, i was in Owerri and we just passed the traffic light after government house and were stopped at a junction when we noticed a traffic policemanĀ  dragging the steering wheel with the driver behind us. It was a minute scuffle that resulted in the car hitting us from behind. So the question was: Who was going to pay for the damage to our car?Ā  The driver or the policeman who was alleging that the driver ran a red light? When the light was at 10 when we passed?Ā  So how do we prove that the policeman was lying?

A friend of mine told me a story of the Nigerian Road Safety guys who were trying to stop a trailer driver who refused and in retaliation, they used a long metal pipe to knock off his side mirror.

Image gotten from the web

I was amazed. For Christ’s sake, they the FRSC should know the importance of a side mirror especially in a long petrol tanker and they are the ones sending the truck into the highway without a mirror. Are they now putting the lives of road users at risk?

This petrol scarcity has been soo bad that it even brought out the barbaric nature of our beloved Nigerian Army. A friend of mine was at the NNPC filling station to buy fuel. He left his house at 3:30am to join the queue; then at about 11:30 am when he was about 15 cars from the gate, some Army men arrived to buy fuel. They moved straight to the front of the queue and that was when the wahala began. The driver just before the gate refused to give up his space even after threats were issued, then one of them went ahead to break the man’s arm…..

Photo Credit: google

You read it right….His arm was broken

Sometimes i wonder what it would take to make our Law Enforcement agents law abiding citizens…. I don’t know if i’m the only who dreams of the day i can confidently go to the Police to report a crime i witnessed without the fear that the Police would lock me up and turn me into the criminal.

But if that happens, do you think this country would still feel like Nigeria?? you know the Naija sufferhead ways because me thinks it would remove the Naija making it ajeborized to Nigeria. ‘Winks’

Glossary (For the non Nigerians)

1. Roger: The verb to bribe
2. Wahala: The noun meaning big trouble
3. Ajeborize: The verb to be spoilt and rich. Gotten from the noun ‘ajebutter’ which means someone from the spoilt upperclass.

Abegi, share your law enforcement stories

You are Stupor & a Compound Idiot #MyLeggedezBenzStories

So I was travelling and boarded those along the road buses (you know those ones that are not registered that just pick passengers along the road). There were already passengers before me. Some minutes after I got in, the driver asked for his fare, I kept quiet then next thing the lady at the front shouted: “Those 2 people that entered @MgbidiĀ  should pass their money”. I passed my money forward. The journey continued peacefully until we picked 3 more passengers.

Next thing, the driver asked for the fares again so 2 people passed their money forward while the other kept quiet. The lady in front turned back again and siad that the money wasn’t complete, that someone was yet to pay. The driver shouted for the money again and the remaining guy who was seated at the back shouted back “I’m aware, driver”. The lady turned back again and started shouting at another guy to pay his fare. The guy told her he wasn’t the one still owing. But the lady insisted and started shouting angrily at the guy to pay. The guy explained that he was among the first to board the bus and his neighbour chirped in, confirming that he wasn’t the one owing.

The journey continued till the accused guy got to his stop and went to alight. Then the lady started again saying he didn’t even pay and he is commanding the driver to stop him at a particular spot. At this point, the other passengers joined in to ask the woman what her problem was. The guy’s neighbour told the woman to just keep quiet as the man had paid his fare, others also seconded pointing out that he was among the first to board the bus. The woman continued shouting and told them to shut up and mind their businesses. At this, a passenger asked her what her business was in the whole affair as she wasn’t the driver’s wife, mistress, his accountant or his conductor. Another added that if she wanted to be a conductor, she should leave the front seat and move to her rightful position.

And all hell was let loose…..
She started spewing insults one after another with the other person countering. Next thing i heard ‘You are very stupid‘ ‘In short, you are stupor

That was my face

You are a compound idiot‘ ‘You are not even fit to be my househelp

At this point, it seemed a unanimous decision was reached by all that the woman was a horrible woman. And the next comments were: “I wonder how her husband copes with her”, “I’m sure he either doesn’t come home or he has chased her out”.

But that got me wondering, “What if she was just having a bad day? Or a bad week even?? Or maybe she’s just going through some phase in her life like ‘The Diary of a mad Black Woman’ (For those who have watched it)???” I know it’s not an excuse, afterall she didn’t know what we were going through ourselves but sometimes I just feel  that we judge people too easily based on one incidence.

Share your thoughts people………