So I was in church, actually got there about 20minutes before the next mass. We found a seat directly under a fan and at the edge of the pew. Next thing, the person I came with remembered he forgot something, so he dropped his wallet on the seat and left. I was still trying to recollect my thoughts when the first person walked up to me and asked if the seat was taken, I said ‘yes’, he moved on and this scenario was repeated severally till a middle aged man came, I told him that the seat was taken but his next questiom took me unawares. He asked ‘Is it a man?’ I replied ‘Yes’ before I even processed the question. At that, he grunted and moved on.

He sat two seats ahead of me and throughout the duration of the mass, I was itching to ask him, “Do you want to tell me that if it was a woman, you would have taken the seat? What does gender have to do with who occupied the seat first?” I guess I missed the gender seat arrangement memo (as usual).

The other day, I walked into the office to write my name in the attendance book; I was on the phone with someone when I stepped into the office and the guy in the office was in a heated discussion with another person, so I continued my phonecall. When I ended the call, I asked him for the attendance book in a conversational way, smiling (as they were done with their argument) completely forgetting that I never greeted anyone. He chastised me saying “You should greet people when you enter their offices”. I apologised and greeted him. That was when he made the next statement, “How could you not greet? You are a lady, you should know better”(then he shook his head).

I wanted to ask “Is the issue that I didn’t greet you” or “Is it that a lady didn’t greet you?” “So if I were a guy, I would have been let off the greeting hook? I’m being held to the hook because I’m female??”

I thought greeting is a polite manner for everyone; boys and girls; men and women.
Note to self: Always greet everyone because you are a lady, a lady should always greet.
I get to the bus stop and wait for a bus. Luckily the front seats are empty. I take a seat close to the door leaving the seat between me and the driver vacant. We get to the next stop, and a young man flags down the bus, the driver stops and the man opens the front door. I ask him to hold on as I get down, making room for him to take the vacant seat; he looks at me like I just dropped from Mars. I returned his gaze steadily, he asked “You expect me to sit inside??” I raised my eyebrows haughtily and replied “Of course, I entered the bus before you”. The bus driver hissed “Women of these days!! Uwa mmebi!!”

I didn’t even move, I waited patiently till he got in and I took my seat. The guys in the bus started a discussion on the disrespectfulness of the girls of these days.
I continued using my phone till my neighbour tapped me asking “So you feel quite comfortable sitting at the edge with me in the middle?”
I replied “Very. We are in a bus where i’m paying my own fare, why should I take an uncomfortable position just because of my gender? Maybe if you are paying my fare, you can instruct me on where to sit. Till then, enjoy the ride”.

The bus got to my stop and I alighted. I still cannot comprehend the relationship between gender and seating positions, and believe me, I have found myself in many of these situations.

Someone who understands, biko kindly explain to this lost soul…..

P.S: For all those waiting to hear my thoughts on Ese and the unfolding drama, kindly head over to Adaeze’s blog; she just wrote my mind.(Yes, I wrote that)


18 thoughts on “Indignation……”

  1. Hehehe @ uwa mmebi(go). He should have returned your money now.
    I hate the assumption that because I’m a woman you have a right to make me uncomfortable while you relax. Congratulations sweetie. Strike a blow for womankind. And he had the nerve to further disturb to ask you that silly question? I wanted to hug you and jump around when i read your response.
    Biko, some people are not worth arguing with and somethings are not worth thinking about. You need to create a folder in your head, classified “pointless discussions with silly people” then begin to file it away.
    You’ll find that it saves unnecessary headaches.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was not even in the mood to collect my money & leave the bus. I waited more minutes in order to get that fine seat and i wasn’t going to give it up just like that.

      You are right @ the need to create the ‘pointless discussion folder’. Saves quite alot of headaches

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Big, Heavy Sigh.
    Why is this so terrible among us Igbos? The stupid and snide remarks about gender, the very casual oppression that is second nature to them. The guy in the bus was high on cheap weed though, ezigbo how can you feel comfortable with me in this seat.
    We have to raise our sons better because I have no hope for this generation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how u put it: “the very casual oppression”. You described it perfectly; and i think they are the ones that rile me the most. You know the oppression that if you so much as blink, you will miss it and then everyone starts asking why you like making a mountain out of nothing.
      Lol @ the cheap weed

      Liked by 1 person

  3. When I was in FUTO, I took a taxi (instead of a bus) back home because it was more comfortable. It allows for 3 people to sit at the back & 1 in front. I sat at the back & thought I was gonna have the best trip ever (I mean, who wants to stay in the middle)..
    A guy then sat in the middle & showed me that the person in the middle can actually be quite comfortable if he’s a pig.
    He spread his legs wide & just squished us to the doors. I complained all through, driver came down & talked.. Omg! Whew!
    He would not have done that to a man. Fists would fly!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to put a sharp object by my leg, something small so they feel the pinch but can’t complain because they’ll have to admit they were squashing others.

      Nigeria, casual and deep oppression of women since 19-Kiridim😡😡😡

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t even understand. Because they are males mean they come with immunity and they got two heads? Some people make it out like ladies get free passes all the time, but the treatments we have to endure, like we’re the minority bunch


  5. The guy actually expected you to seat in the middle beside the driver? Oh my! If the case were reversed, I would have expected that he would give up his seat for you in consideration. smh


    1. ‘Give up his seat for me in consideration’? Thats quite hilarious.
      In my experiences here, they always expect the ladies to seat in the middle especially if you are slim. The one that annoys me most is when im doing an inter-state journey,because that seat does not a seatbelt😠


    2. ‘Give up his seat for me in consideration’? Thats quite hilarious.
      In my experiences here, they always expect the ladies to seat in the middle especially if you are slim. The one that annoysseatbelt is when im doing an inter-state journey,because that seat does not have a seatbelt. U can imagine!!!😠

      Liked by 1 person

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