A Hungry Man is a Walking DYNAMITE…… #MyLeggedesbenzStories

Soo the other day, I passed two men fighting in the middle of the road and I remembered an incident that happened last year. I was in a keke going somewhere but not in a hurry when we noticed a crowd by the side of the road. The keke driver stopped to know what was going on. There was a small car and several kekes that were parked at the curb. Then across the road,  two men were having a wrestling match.

This WWE match had one of the wrestlers well dressed in a smartly ironed white shirt that was still partially tucked in and his carton coloured Chinos trouser and fine pair of shoes. While the other (the one who was about to become the next reigning WWE champion – Smackdown), was dressed in a short with a cheap tattered belt holding it to his waist and his clean though old t-shirt with the face of one of the prominent Nigerian singers blazoned both on the front and back.  He was repeatedly lifting the smartly dressed man and throwing him on the floor like they do in the traditional Igbo wrestling. He was also pummelling the smartly dressed man like he was the reason for the obnoxious Naira-dollar exchange rate, it just remained for him to force feed the man with sand

Photo Credit: http://www.123rf.com

I’d already pointed out that there was a crowd but nobody was making any move to separate the wrestlers. If I had looked closely, I may have noticed the unofficial referee by the side or even the ticket collector for the set match. Each time the man was thrown down, the crowd erupted in cheers, hailing the winner. I would point out at this point that the crowd seemed to made up mostly of not well dressed men (you know they didn’t have that sharp office look, they looked more like congregation of keke drivers and former okada riders).

Photo Credit : Youtube

On further questioning, we got the correct details: the smartly dressed man was the owner of the small parked car and was hit by the old t-shirt man who was driving a keke. There wasn’t much damage but there was a slightly big dent and scratches on his car. Story had it that he parked and started abusing the keke man who took offense and started abusing him back pointing out that he didn’t damage his yeye car sef, so why couldn’t he just be on his way; it wasn’t even like his car was a Range Rover Sports. At this, the smart man went to cuff him and the wrestling ensued.

Now the interesting thing about the story is that the person who recounted the tale to our driver (also a keke driver) was of the opinion that the t-shirt man should beat up the smart man as (and I quote): ‘These private drivers can be very wicked, someone cannot just scratch their car, even if its egg, just a small scratch and next thing they are asking you to pay for repairs. See the small dent the man made to the small car and the man is making noise, na only him buy car. Mtcheeww’

I wanted to ask him “Someone’s car was dented cos you were in a hurry to pick passengers and you don’t even deem it fit to apologise instead you are supporting the person beating up the victim?  Nsogbu dikwa oh’ but I shut my tongue (pun intended). A fellow passenger threatened our driver and we zoomed off.

And I learnt:

A Hungry Man is a Walking DYNAMITE about to explode; Avoid him at all costs

Share your angry man stories jare!


8 thoughts on “A Hungry Man is a Walking DYNAMITE…… #MyLeggedesbenzStories”

  1. Lol! I had a good laugh. I could just imagine the scene. Vivid descriptions.

    The reasoning behind the commentator’s observation about a small dent on the car is vintage Naija. But should the driver have provoked a WWE match? Must every thing boil down to fist fights?

    I wrote a post about the ‘pepper’ that burns in our veins, how aggression seems to be the default way of life. I called it Naija in my blood, because in the heat of the moment, I found myself (oh no!) an accomplice!


  2. Hmmmm. If anyone scratch my car, I won’t even bother if it’s a commercial vehicle or bus or someone that will not pay for the repairs. I will only come out when I wanna see the extent of the damage and when it’s someone that can pay for the repairs. I will just jeje go repair my car and move on. Me abuse who? What do they have to lose? Nothing! And maybe the guy in shirt was going to work and maybe they are stealing stuff from his car as they are fighting there. Am sure he has learnt his lesson. The mentality of those commercial drivers is whacked! Imagine I entered a bust to second rainbow and it was only one other person that was there. I didn’t know the other person was going to first gate. These two places are far off each other o! Different Kekes go there. The driver picked up two more people going to second rainbow. When it reached the place to divert, he told us to please excuse him so he will drop the woman @first gate. What!!! We all protested cos we were going to work in the morning. We finally kept quiet. He did not even reach the bus stop sef cos if he reached, he won’t be able to turn back. He told the woman to come down. The woman was angry cos she will have to walk to the gate. The driver was like ‘oya take your money’. The woman just warned him and stalked off. When we zoomed off, he had the audacity to say ‘women sef!! Their wahala too much. Imagine….. I didn’t even wait for him to finish as someone was supporting him. a guy obviously! I just finished him and he kept quiet. The way they reason amazes me sometimes. Don’t even bother joining dem @alll. Forgive the long post sha!


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