So the other day, I was surfing YouTube and someone’s comment made me pause. It goes like this:
There are 3 classes of men: the first class disrespects women and believe women are beneath them and should be treated thus; the second group believe that women are to be put on a pedestal and be cared for deeply while the last (and this consists of only a few) believe women are to be treated as equals.
You are wondering where am going with this??? It won’t be a while. Prior to my seeing the above comment, I used to find it difficult to explain why some men piss me off. You know how retarded you sound when you say ‘he is a nice man, quite respectful but I feel slighted by him?’; The first class are easy to spot and everyone can agree. But the second class? This is where so many men fall into, even those who believe they are for gender equity (ironically & hilariously)
I will give an instance: we all know that caring senior colleague in the office who will always nicely ask you to sit while everyone is standing discussing important matters (i dont see the need for that exemption unless you are pregnant of course or sick) or that caring boss that lets you off every evening by 5:30pm so you can rush home and prepare dinner for your husband while others remain working till maybe 7pm.
Yes, they are being nice men but they already treating you differently because you are female. Why should you pull in half hours at work? Are you not being paid same salary as the men? If you are not ready to work, you might as well stay at home. For the ladies, you might think you are being done a favour but believe you me, these kind of bosses are the ones who would easily never recommend you for manager or team leader in their skewed belief that you are female, they are the ones most likely to stand in your way of that better job or promotion in their belief that it would take you far away from your family and they are the kind of men that give you subtle trouble if you are their boss.
My other problem with this 2nd class of men is that most times they are difficult to characterize as most women mistake great care for equal respect. Someone can respect you without believing you are equals. This is why you see some supposedly nice men who believe their wives should do certain house chores (as they are females of course) and still proudly declare in public how they are all for #girl power.
I’m so thankful to the youtubber who I can’t remember the name who finally gave a voice to my thoughts as it was frustrating trying to explain it initially to people giving that we mostly think (erroneously anyways) that there are 2 classes of men: those that disrespect and those that respect women.
Now when I’m asked ‘So what is your problem with nice, respectful and gender-restriction liberated man?’ I simply answer ‘He belongs to Class 2’ Shikena!!