Opportunity

Just saw this post and had to reblog. The perfect description of opportunity

RoastCorn&Ube

Opportunity knocked,

Sat,

Got into bed with me.

I rolled away,

Waiting

For Opportunity to touch me

Tap me

Roll me back round and

Give of herself to me.

But

Opportunity didn’t.

She saw me asleep

And Opportunity doesn’t wait for you to be awake.

So she got up and left.

I got up and ran

After her

But Opportunity was gone.

Opportunity waits for no-one.

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A Hungry Man is a Walking DYNAMITE…… #MyLeggedesbenzStories

Soo the other day, I passed two men fighting in the middle of the road and I remembered an incident that happened last year. I was in a keke going somewhere but not in a hurry when we noticed a crowd by the side of the road. The keke driver stopped to know what was going on. There was a small car and several kekes that were parked at the curb. Then across the road,  two men were having a wrestling match.

This WWE match had one of the wrestlers well dressed in a smartly ironed white shirt that was still partially tucked in and his carton coloured Chinos trouser and fine pair of shoes. While the other (the one who was about to become the next reigning WWE champion – Smackdown), was dressed in a short with a cheap tattered belt holding it to his waist and his clean though old t-shirt with the face of one of the prominent Nigerian singers blazoned both on the front and back.  He was repeatedly lifting the smartly dressed man and throwing him on the floor like they do in the traditional Igbo wrestling. He was also pummelling the smartly dressed man like he was the reason for the obnoxious Naira-dollar exchange rate, it just remained for him to force feed the man with sand

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Photo Credit: http://www.123rf.com

I’d already pointed out that there was a crowd but nobody was making any move to separate the wrestlers. If I had looked closely, I may have noticed the unofficial referee by the side or even the ticket collector for the set match. Each time the man was thrown down, the crowd erupted in cheers, hailing the winner. I would point out at this point that the crowd seemed to made up mostly of not well dressed men (you know they didn’t have that sharp office look, they looked more like congregation of keke drivers and former okada riders).

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Photo Credit : Youtube

On further questioning, we got the correct details: the smartly dressed man was the owner of the small parked car and was hit by the old t-shirt man who was driving a keke. There wasn’t much damage but there was a slightly big dent and scratches on his car. Story had it that he parked and started abusing the keke man who took offense and started abusing him back pointing out that he didn’t damage his yeye car sef, so why couldn’t he just be on his way; it wasn’t even like his car was a Range Rover Sports. At this, the smart man went to cuff him and the wrestling ensued.

Now the interesting thing about the story is that the person who recounted the tale to our driver (also a keke driver) was of the opinion that the t-shirt man should beat up the smart man as (and I quote): ‘These private drivers can be very wicked, someone cannot just scratch their car, even if its egg, just a small scratch and next thing they are asking you to pay for repairs. See the small dent the man made to the small car and the man is making noise, na only him buy car. Mtcheeww’

I wanted to ask him “Someone’s car was dented cos you were in a hurry to pick passengers and you don’t even deem it fit to apologise instead you are supporting the person beating up the victim?  Nsogbu dikwa oh’ but I shut my tongue (pun intended). A fellow passenger threatened our driver and we zoomed off.

And I learnt:

A Hungry Man is a Walking DYNAMITE about to explode; Avoid him at all costs

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Share your angry man stories jare!

I don’t get why some people don’t just get it

So the other day, I was in a bakery shop just a street away from my house to buy half a kilo of flour. On arrival,  there were 2 customers (although they came together) before me  who were being attended to. So I stood patiently by the side waiting. About 2mins later, the sales girl asked me what I wanted. I replied, ‘Half kilo of flour’.  She asked, ‘just it?’ I replied, ‘yes’. And she told me she was coming.

Ten minutes later, I was still waiting as the customers were trying to make up their minds on what they needed as they didn’t have a list.  Actually,  I think they wanted to fry chin chin but they weren’t sure of the ingredients: so they would ask: ‘we will need margarine right?’; the lady responds, ‘yes’. And then they spend the next 3-5 mins trying to choose a particular brand as there were up to 3 different brands. And the cycle would be repeated for the next item they weren’t even sure they would take at the end.

All these while, I stood patiently while the sales girl stood by the other side, and an elderly woman (I’m guessing her grandmother) sat inside the shop just observing us. I kept reminding her of my flour and she would always ask me to wait. At a point, the ladies asked her to pack my flour for me, she didn’t bother responding.

I was mad. Of course,  the shop had the monopoly of being the only bakery shop in the neighbourhood and I’d already wasted about 15mins.  I just turned silently and walked off to the bus stop to enter a keke to another part of town where I was sure I would find flour. And the sales girl didn’t bother calling me back. Even her grandmother.

It’s amazing how these kinds of scenarios happen regularly and I wonder why is it that some people don’t just get it. To sustain a business,  you need customers/clients that return for repeat business,  not one-off transactions.  It doesn’t matter if someone walks in to buy just N20 stuff, never let them leave unhappy because you never know what he might buy on his return visit. Or better yet, the other people in his social network who he will recommend your business to.

I remember a friend of mine who told me of how her sister was being treated shabbily in a boutique as she looked too cheap (I guess), until a customer asked for the owner of the car blocking hers to come move the car and she left, moved her car and came back in to continue her shopping.  That was when she noticed the change in attitude (as they obviously started kissing up her ass when they realized she was the driver of a certain SUV), she was so annoyed that she left the shop and I’m sure she would almost never return there again for whatever reason.

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We need to start getting it seriously! !!!

You are not allowed on the pedestrian walkway as I’m standing there #MyLeggedesbenzStories

So the other day, I was going to work in the morning. From the bus stop to my work place is about a  5min walk. So I was walking on the pedestrian walkway till I noticed the army officials standing by the side of the road. Before I get to work, I have to pass by this T- junction and usually the cars negotiating the turns there take up almost all the spaces on the roads.

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.A: The part of the road where we had the altercation. You can agree it's a danger zone

Now these smart Army officials were standing on the pedestrian walkway across the gutter. So as I approached, I was asking myself ‘Are these supposed protectors expecting me to walk on the road and risk getting knocked down while they take up the part of the road reserved for pedestrians like me?’  Of course, I opted out of walking on the road and continued on the pedestrian walkway (mind you, I’ve read FRSC’s Highway Code ftom cover to back severally). 

I walked past the first soldier (I saw the look of surprise on his face), passed the second one and was about passing the last one when he spoke ‘Does this look like a freeway to you? So you didn’t see your fellow pedestrians walking on the road? Idiot!! Stupid girl!!!’   I wanted to ask him ‘How can you be standing on our way and asking us to take a busy road? Aren’t you the crazy one?’ But as I loved my flawless face, I just jumped across the gutter silently and continued on my way.
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How una way, jare??

The class of men that piss me off

So the other day, I was surfing YouTube and someone’s comment made me pause. It goes like this:

There are 3 classes of men: the first class disrespects women and believe women are beneath them and should be treated thus; the second group believe that women are to be put on a pedestal and  be cared for deeply while the last (and this consists of only a few) believe women are to be treated as equals.

You are wondering where am going with this??? It won’t be a while. Prior to my seeing the above comment,  I used to find it difficult to explain why some men piss me off. You know how retarded you sound when you say ‘he is a nice man, quite respectful but I feel slighted by him?’;  The first class are easy to spot and everyone can agree. But the second class? This is where so many men fall into, even those who believe they are for gender equity (ironically & hilariously)

I will give an instance: we all know that caring senior colleague in the office who will always nicely ask you to sit while everyone is standing discussing important matters (i dont see the need for that exemption unless you are pregnant of course or sick) or that caring boss that lets you off every evening by 5:30pm so you can rush home and prepare dinner for your husband while others remain working till maybe 7pm.

Yes, they are being nice men but they already treating you differently because you are female.  Why should you pull in half hours at work? Are you not being paid same salary as the men? If you are not ready to work, you might as well stay at home. For the ladies, you might think you are being done a favour but believe you me, these kind of bosses are the ones who would easily never recommend you for manager or team leader in their skewed belief that you are female, they are the ones most likely to stand in your way of that better job or promotion in their belief that it would take you far away from your family and they are the kind of men that give you subtle trouble if you are their boss.

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My other problem with this 2nd class of men is that most times they are difficult to characterize as most women mistake great care for equal respect. Someone can respect you without believing you are equals. This is why you see some supposedly nice men who believe their wives should do certain house chores (as they are females of course) and still proudly declare in public how they are all for #girl power.

I’m so thankful to the youtubber who I can’t remember the name who finally gave a voice to my thoughts as it was frustrating trying to explain it initially to people giving that we mostly think (erroneously anyways) that there are 2 classes of men: those that disrespect and those that respect women.

Now when I’m asked ‘So what is your problem with nice, respectful and gender-restriction liberated man?’  I simply answer ‘He belongs to Class 2’ Shikena!!

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Ciao

Inspiration is everywhere #MyLeggedesbenzStories

So the other day, I entered an intra city bus (don’t mind my big grammar you know all these normal yellow buses), people like me understand.  I don’t want to bore you with all the  whole ‘it was very hot and stuffy inside the bus and we were waiting for just one last person’ gist.  We were packed tightly like sardines in a can when suddenly I turned sideways and saw an amazing experience

The lady sitting by the window was busy snapping selfies!!!  Wowww!!  I was praying for the last person to come in quickly as I was sitting on one buttock trying hard not to breath too deeply as the combination of all the natural and artificial body perfumes were all so intoxicating and someone was comfortably taking selfies in the bus. She was even changing her poses. And I must confess; her shots were incredibly beautiful.  Of course,  I craned my neck till I could get a view of all her pics.

My eyes turned green (I don’t think I’ve ever felt such envy in a bus before since childhood).
I could just imagine her hashtags on instagram  #prettymoi #feelingblessed #feelingmyself #bosslady

And I learnt a big lesson:

Inspiration is everywhere,  the question really should be:
Are you ready to be inspired?

That was a big food for thought. Who knew I’d find literary quotes in a stuffy bus??
Not me

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Ciao
P.S: Would love to hear your inspirational stories from unbelievable scenarios

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This is my derest self trying to get a pretty selfie in my bedroom & failing miserably, Diaris God