Oya! Move back!! Na me get that plank!!! #MyLeggedesbenzStories

So the other day, I was at the popular UpperIweka in Onitsha at about 7:30 pm cruising in my Leggedesbenz. I was about to cross to the other side of the road to continue my journey when i heard a ruckus. Initially I didn’t care till I noticed what it was all about.


There was this drainage (gutter) in between the two lanes I wanted to get across.  You know those massive ones you can’t jump across unless you are either at least 6 ft tall or a jumper.
But good enough, someone had placed a narrow plank across that could only allow human traffic in one direction only. Therein lay the problem!!!

There was a crowd on my own side of the road because the people on the other side kept up a steady one way traffic on the plank without considering the people on the other side. It got soo bad that the crowd on my own side got angry and started shouting at the few people remaining on the other side to hold on for a while and allow them pass to no avail.
And that was when the main drama unfolded!!

As pleading did not work, they decided to take another route. So they forcefully made their way onto the plank and started their victory march meeting the other people at the middle. Now the hilarious part was that those leading the victory march were women that were carrying their babies. As the two groups met on the plank, the argument continued on why the people from the other side should move back and allow those from my side to pass for a while. Finally,  they moved back but as my people were about to celebrate our victory,  a man rushed from nowhere from the other side onto the plank and asked those on the plank to move back and allow him pass.

When the women refused, he informed them that if they didn’t move back at the end of his count of 3, he was going to push them into the drainage. The man counted to 3 & started pushing the leader(who was carrying a 2month old baby), people started screaming.  Next two touts came and tried to resolve the issue. After listening to both plaintiffs and defendants, they (as the self appointed street judge & jury) gave their judgement: those on the plank from my side of the road should move back (as they were women) and allow the man(one man) to pass. When they refused, one of them asked everyone to get down from the plank as the plank belonged to him.

We all thought he was joking till he started lifting the plank from one end. Our fearless calvary leaders ran back to our side of the road and the man ran back to his side. Then the plank owner tout lifted the plank,  pushed it into the drainage and asked us all to either jump across or jump inside the drainage and ask someone on the other end to help pull you out.

Me?? I did what catwoman Halle Berry would have done.
Go figure! !!

Hwaiting your own stories.
Leggedesbenz: A type of vehicle that utilises one’s two legs as tyres and one’s energy as fuel.


7 thoughts on “Oya! Move back!! Na me get that plank!!! #MyLeggedesbenzStories”

  1. Chaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii deris God ooooooo(In Madam Goodluck’s voice)
    HAs you ple are busy building storey buildings, he is fulfilled atleast he has planks


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s