Three types of family: nuclear, extended & smartphone family

Remember the basics in social studies then, there are two types of family: nuclear & extended. Nuclear where you have only a man, his wife (or wives) and their children only while extended is where you have a nuclear make up plus the aunties, uncles, grannies etc. But I have realized that there’s a third type in the mix nowadays — the smartphone or rather the SMART family. Yes, this is a family that consists of the father and his htc one plus his ipad plus his mobile dstv, the mother and her iphone 5 plus her galaxy note 2014 edition and their children with phones and games.

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These so called smart families can stay days with conversations,  just the occasional “hello”, “welcome”, “how was school”. And its amazing how this has become a norm. Wives realise their husbands will not be back at night because of an out of state meeting from the husband’s BBM status: Oh boy! See fire!! This meeting is ablaze. Children don’t need to ask their parents for help doing their homework as they can practically get their answers online. Husbands know about their wives attending a wedding or party days after the event when the pictures are uploaded on Facebook & other social media although none of them had travelled prior to the event.

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The funniest part of a smart family is that the members don’t realise how their technology is affecting their home/relationship life. They are quite engrossed in their different gadgets to notice that they have more of a relationship with their Facebook & BBM friends than their immediate family.

The Smart family can be really nice especially when one sends a link to others to check out and everyone is laughing at the same joke but to different devices now instead of people.

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Laughing at devices rather than with people

These days the smart family setting is on garnering more fans. But we should do well to remember the downsides and remember that one can hardly go wrong if one prioritises wella. We should do well to remember that the smart family consists of other members apart from the smart devices, so time should be shared amongst all members, gadgets inclusive but we shouldn’t let technology take away the ‘family’ from the ‘Smart’

Because if we don’t,  we might be left with only the 4th type of family: the ‘one man & his smart devices’ family.

P.S: Just noticed that only the women in my pics seemed bothered by the gadget craze or is just me????

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The non disposables!!! Sorry:- Indispensables

Nobody is indispensable.  Everyone is disposable (abeg free my English).

Sounds cliché but its actually quite true. The earlier one realizes this, the earlier one can start making plan B. I remember my secondary school English textbook, there was one comprehension with the title: The Indispensable.  The story was about a doctor who worked almost all 24hours each working day and even added so much jara work on weekends that he was hardly home. Each time the wife complained about his neglect of his own family, he always reminded her that he was indispensable,  that his dedication to duty has saved many lives and that he was irreplaceable at the hospital. Some years later, the man died and just few weeks after his death,  the wife passed by the hospital and it was still the same: patients were still being attended to, it never closed even for some hours, infact it was as if her husband had never been there.
Chei!!!!! He had been disposed.

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And this is the fact in life. Everyone can be replaced no matter how good you are or how an organisation is synonymous with your name. Even if you give your last sweat or die working,  there is always someone who will fill your empty shoes. Nobody cares if the shoes are a size too small or loose, the most important thing is that the vacancy has been filled.

If you doubt me, ask Tayo  Aderinokun (in his grave shaa),he was the Co founder and Managing director of Gtbank for soo many years. But at his death,  the company is still vibrant. Another person is now M.D and the truth is that many of their customers didn’t even notice there has been a switch.

Still in doubt, ask the mothers who built their whole world around their kids and husband. They don’t have friends just gossip mates and  school-run colleagues. Now the kids are teenagers and do not want to be identified with their moms, they want to express their independence.  Others are now adults, have their own clique and do not have much time for their busybody mothers. The mothers will surely testify to their being disposed of as their affections have been replaced by other people’s.

Thomasing  still, ask the many Naija sharp girls their time frame with politicians or notable businessmen.

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In the office, you will see a hardworking employee who is giving his last drop for a company and the next retrenchment, he is out and the company continues.  Or someone who works so hard that he becomes hypertensive, next has a stroke and dies, and the organisation continues like he was never there. If he is lucky, his colleagues will be allowed to come for his burial.

In relationships,  you see a party doing all their possible best so the other will be happy. They even give up their comfort,  some lose their jobs or do not bother pursuing a high end career. Some become the best things that ever happened to their partners.  I remember when I was in university, there was this couple everyone envied, they were both in medical fields but the girl’s first year G.p was less than 3.0. The guy helped her in her studies and even asked some of his friends in her dept (as they weren’t in the same department) to help her out. By her final year,  she was hitting a 4.2 g.p.a while the guy had already failed some exams. Lo and behold,  after graduation the lady called it quits and Baam!!! He was disposed.

When we understand that we can always be replaced at any time, we become more careful in our relationships with people, how much stress we condone at our workplaces and the sacrifices we choose to make. Because it doesn’t matter if our replacement is David Moyes, if he is an idiot, if he is brilliant or actually quite Steve Jobs -the endpoint is that there was an “Mmm to the left to the left” – that you were dispensed, and that is all that matters.

Reference
Irreplaceable – Beyoncé

I finally agree with the Koreans

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Its been reported that South Korea has  the highest rate of plastic surgery in the world.  About 1in 5 in the major city of Seoul have done at least one procedure- it could be the eyes or the nose or even jaw reduction (though not so common).

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^ This composition picture of candidates in a South Korean beauty pageant went viral last year. Many people commented that the women look identical.

And we might be quite quick to judge and start with the comments :- they are soo superficial,  Koreans don’t have self confidence,  they live a fake life, . And believe me, I’ve thought along those lines too but recently I have started understanding the reasoning albeit slowly.
Imagine going for an oral interview,  where you have two candidates: one ugly, the other beautiful,  and both answer questions equally but you have to choose one, who would you choose? Of course,  the fine one.
Or walking along the road and someone accidentally steps on your foot and says sorry,  when you turn back and see a not soo beautiful face, your reaction is usually different from your reaction to a fine face.

Its funny how we have all these judgements: she has an ugly face why is she singing? That guy’s jaw is horrible,  why was he used for the advert? Couldn’t a handsome guy be found?  I can’t tolerate him, its not enough that he’s not handsome,  he also has a bad attitude (this means: I could have tolerated his attitude if only he was a fine boy). Why did such a rich man marry an ugly lady?

As if a person’s looks define who they are. As if the looks translates into funny, kind and all other qualities. And its painful, because no matter how well Mr. Ibu can act, he would always be given those comedy (village clown) roles. Can you imagine Mr. Ibu being Tonto Dike’s husband in a hot movie?

We excuse incompetence,  make allowances for infidelity,  nurture rudeness all on the grounds of beauty and we then turn around and say that those who have the guts to do something about it lack confidence.  And that’s the hypocrisy.

Everybody will not be facially appealing,  that’s the whole of a heterogeneous community.  Moreover, imagine a world where there are no obese people, no men with protruding bellies and no women who are soo shapeless you want to scream. Let us to see the beauty in diversity and stop being boxed into conventionalities

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