My Trash Neighbour

My neighbour downstairs

I always peep through my window

As I hear the key turn in her door.

She’s your very description of a beautiful lady

Nice clothes,
Nice walk,
Nice everything

But what I like more is her Big trash bag.

The way she holds it, very neatly packaged, colorful and big too.

She throws her trash every Tuesday.

‘Why not Saturday or Monday?’ I always wonder.

I gently close my curtains, as I keep imagining

The fun she must be having all week to accumulate this Big fine, well packaged Trash….

@Helen Keller๐Ÿ˜†

The best way to lie…

I usually have some weird moments when I think weird thoughts that during my sane moments, I wonder “whatever started that train of thought?”

One of such thoughts is the biblical injunction that all liars are sinners.
Is it possible for an adult to be 100% truthful? How can all lies have the same sin rating? What of lies that are told to save a situation? What of lies that are  necessary?

Would one classify wilful omission as lying?
Sometimes I just wonder, covering for a colleague who probably was having a bad day (that is quite unusual for said person), is that also lying?

This doesn’t mean that one should go about spouting untruthful statements and become known as a serial liar.

But most times, one cannot help but admire the skills of smart serial liars: you know their words are probably lies but you feel a compulsion to give them a benefit of the doubt once more (or should I say the hundredth time???)

I think knowing how to lie effectively should be one of those skills everyone should learn, because you never know when it will come in handyโ˜บ


The Exodus – Animal version

“Won’t you cross over? We are all waiting for your lead, or is the ditch too big?” the Giraffe persuaded the Lion who was supposedly leading all the animals to the promise land, where there  would be food and water.

The Lion remained silent and just stood motionless, looking ahead. Then the Giraffe moved forward grumbling out loud  “Well if I or any other animal cross this ditch before you, that animal would become the next king of the Jungle at the promised Land”.

Everywhere went silent. They looked at each other and back at the Lion. He remained unmoving, seemingly deep in thought.

Then the giraffe swiftly crossed the tiny ditch and turning to the other animals to gloat, the ground shifted suddenly and the giraffe fell into a wider ditch beneath the earth.

The Lion then moved forward, lifted his eyes to the sky roaring “Lords of our Land, accept this Sacrifice and let the rain pour to end this dreadful famine”.

Image credit:google

And then quietly to himself, “..And let the Grass eating animals eat and fatten up for I can scarcely find meat on their bones”.

Then turning to the other animals he said, “Let’s go back to our Land and wait for the rain, for I am neither Moses nor Pharaoh”.

~ folk tales from Helen Keller ๐Ÿ˜Š

The Door!! Who goes in First? #LovelyPeculiaritiesofNigeria

It was 3:35pm. She greets the Security at the  bank entrance and wait patiently for the two ladies who were before her to enter the banking hall. As she found herself in front of the door waiting for the light to turn green, this elderly man walks up to the door, greets the Security and places himself between her and the door.



“Good day Sir” She said. He didn’t respond but shifted slightly to the side. The light turned green and the security pressed the ‘open’ button and they waited for the door to open. She continued boring holes into his side that he looked up at her after a while.


And she gave him the “you really mean to say you didn’t notice me standing here” look.

The door opened and she waited for him to make the first move, he was blocking her path after all. She’d already shaped her mouth to tell him immediately he took the first step forward that it was her turn so he should come out and wait; and she was ready to cause a scene.

It was like he could read minds because he moved aside and waved for her to go in. And into the banking hall she went without a backwards glance.

Nigerians should learn not to jump queues especially older adults who feel they have more important things to do with their time unlike young people. If you are in a hurry, explain to the people who came before you nicely and most people would make way for you.

Not to come and be forming sharp guy.




Image Credits: google images and onehallyu gifs

Quotes that Gave me Pause


I remember the day I saw this quote for the first time, it was hilarious but after bouts of laughter I gave it deeper thought and realised it was more of a ‘Who told you the grass on the other side is greener?”

Though we have the courage to raise our daughters more like our Sons,
We’ve rarely had the courage to raise our sons like our daughters.

                                        Gloria Steinem

This quote made me realise that we are doing a great disservice to our boys, we put them in huge societal binders without giving them room to find themselves because society might say they are too feminine or even God forbid

The last quote for the day,
Saw this quote on a day I was quite down and wondering the next step to take, it was like an angel was sent to minister to me personally.

I know you are Sad, so I won’t tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day. Stay alive, feed yourself, wear comfortable clothes and don’t give up on yourself just yet. It will get better. Until then, have a day.


Have a day…..

Image Credits:

The Crush….

She was soo beautiful, her skin fair and smooth and he assumed silky like Tonto Dikeh too.
Gosh!! She had a lovely profile.

Soo in love

He had heard and read of love at first sight but couldn’t believe it was happening to him, although he had never really seen her face which was always bent low as she sat on the bed with a pillow on her laps.

When would she lift her head to him so he could behold her face?? The completion of the beauty.  Kai!!!

He had read that persistence is the Key to all things, so everytime he came into the Hotel room, he asked her, “What can I do for you my lady? How may I be of help? Do you want to talk to somebody? I am here for you”.

He kept repeating those words. He even took Ahmed and Missi’s Cleaning shifts just to make sure he was always the one to attend to her. And always her answer was, “Please if you are done, get out”.


But he kept asking and cleaning, counting the days to his next salary, maybe he could buy her a perfume or a teddy bear, or whatever his meager cleaner salary could afford.

Then on that faithful day, she answered lifitng her head, beautiful as he had always imagined and said..”Can you kill someone for me?” she asked, lifting a gun from under the pillow and handing it to him, “A shot right in the middle of the forehead would do…”.


Like a mute dog, he stood there almost eating the mopstick..


Much Ado about Age

-So how old are you, Ma?
“It’s written in the folder”, she replied.


I looked down and saw 20 but the woman looked like she was in her thirties.
‘So Ma, you are twenty or is it twenty-one?”
“Nooo, is that what was written?” She asked “I am older than that oh”
Then there was silence, I looked at her waiting for an elaboration but she said nothing.


I turned back to the folder and saw I read it wrongly, it was written 20+. I turned back to her
“Oh madam, it’s actually twenty plus that was written”
“Of course, I am not twenty. There was a plus there” she responded


And then silence again even with all my power stares.
“But could you tell me the right twenty something it is?”
“How old am I???” She asked “I was born in ’86 so I should be 31 this year”.

In my mind, I yelled ‘Finally!!! Drum rolls, people!!! ‘

That wasn’t soo difficult, was it??’

God!! Why do women find it difficult to state their age? Even in a hospital??? What’s the biggie biko? What does a lady profit by hiding her age?? Or am I missing something important?


I don’t understand, maybe someone who does should kindly explain


Image credits: google and

Auntie Trouble maker

“What do you mean?” I shouted at the top of my voice.
“How can you tell me that from that junction to this Junction is N70?”
I was still screaming as people gathered to know what wasย  happening; the keke man just opened his mouth staring at me, and didn’t say anything, although he looked like the meanest thug you’veย  ever seen. The people who gathered kept saying “Its OK ma, calm down ma”. I shouted once more, turned and went my lovely way, smiling triumphantly to myself.

Photo credit: google

You see,ย  I just won the battle that would have turned against me. Our society knows how to make room and excuses for the trouble makers and stubborn headed (In pidgin: those wey no dey hearย  word). They make excuses for them like “Hmmm, don’t mind him that’s how he behaves; everyone knows him, just give him what he wants and go your way and he goes his way etc”.

Photo credit: facebook comments๐Ÿ˜Š

So most times in this our society, be that trouble maker first, cause that mayhem you very well know someone else will do if you don’t.
You can apologize later, and guess what??ย  You are even loved more then, and more people will seek your attention ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Image Credit: google

Sincerely yours,
Hellen Keller๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

The Church Bells 2 (Dec 31st)


Everywhere went black! NEPA had done it again!!

Image Credit: web

It’s like they always have the perfect timing, sometimes I wonder if these PHCN workers are witches: you know the way they almost always accurately guess when that tv program or movie is about to reach a climax?? And then Vaamm…… the light goes off.


It’s uncanny.

I listened carefully but all I heard were shouts of joy and jubilation as people welcomed the new year. I looked out to the church tower – nothing. People put on their generators and the whole street was coming back to life with people blaring loud music, the churches were not left behind in the noise pollution.

I thought back to the last events and wondered if perhaps I fell asleep.. I was about to close the curtain when I saw it – ‘A man was unzipping his trousers to urinate in the gutter behind the bar; a black shape crept up behind him, gave him a push while merging with him and they fell into the gutter’.

Image Credit: google

At this point, I lost consciousness…..
Happy birthday Adaezenwa๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽŠ. Hope you finally publish a book this new year